Musing

Okay… focus, Brandy. No more indulgent fear.

Today, I must trek to the nearest city to purchase a whack of pro hanging hardware. I will be doing the framing in my room at the Inn for the Oakville show. I have an assortment of beautiful frames collected from here and there.

My muses for the trip: Carol (a collector from Florida who gives me inspiring feedback on my work in comparison to some really interesting artists); Pater Ludi in Bavaria, (truly generous with his comments); and Tonya, (a supportive collector in Illinois who has recently shared some personal insights) are all suitable choices.

But I dig deeper. The area is a port, surrounded by gardens and historical buildings. The inhabitants are wealthy commuters from Toronto’s Bay Street and the like. Homes are expensive, even a little Ontario Cottage is off the charts. I will be carless, and ride my folding bike everywhere, my easel strapped to the book rack. I shall be staying in what looks appears to be a frugal, sparse room above a Starbucks on the main drag. Who is such a marine painter’s muse? What can I focus on to get me through this, and paint brilliantly? My sister in America? She's been on my mind lately. She is the type of person who would live in historic Oakville. I heard from her about her own fabulous successes the other day and we emailed back and forth. She thoughtfully suggested I apply to be a consulting artist for the ice hotel in Finland. “You’d be gone for several months, but what an opportunity!” I’d love to, but maybe when I am an old lady. There's no way I could escape for that long with the ties and commitments I currently have to here. Think think think... Sz?

Yes, it is her. Writer, friend and supporter, she sees in my work the undertone of self-actualization, the thinking, meditating discovery as one is walking (or snowshoeing) through life. Sz goes off bravely to Taos writing workshops in spite of frenzied personal issues. She returns with stories of the good she found there, in spite of the politics and the seemingly insurmountable challenge of self-esteem. She steps aside from it. I shall follow her lead.